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the last few days I've been spending time with friends who loved dame, drinking and talking and eating together, telling stories and laughing and crying.
at the funeral the minister said Dame would want us to be happy, that he wouldn't want us to be sad to see him gone. I'm almost certain that isn't true. If there was anyone who understood sadness, it was Dame. I tried to hold it together for awhile, but when i remembered his tears and openness about being "mental", I just let my body shake and tears snot run down my face, staying quiet for the people around me.
we got there as the service started and there already wasn't any space to sit, i squeezed myself up by the piano in the back, and people kept coming, until they crowded the doorway. the whole thing was so strange, his family clearly suprised by all the people who came to say goodbye and talk about his amazing creativity, the praying, his family talking about this kid they didn't seem to know, and watching his friends turn their faces when they talked about how loved he was by his family, and how much happier he'd be in heaven. fuck.
afterwards, at the wake in the strange sterile room at a leagues club. ellie told me dame had talked about me a lot, his "mental" friend, and how we understood each others sadness. she said I had to take better care of myself, and be responsible, now dame's gone.
at the funeral the minister said Dame would want us to be happy, that he wouldn't want us to be sad to see him gone. I'm almost certain that isn't true. If there was anyone who understood sadness, it was Dame. I tried to hold it together for awhile, but when i remembered his tears and openness about being "mental", I just let my body shake and tears snot run down my face, staying quiet for the people around me.
we got there as the service started and there already wasn't any space to sit, i squeezed myself up by the piano in the back, and people kept coming, until they crowded the doorway. the whole thing was so strange, his family clearly suprised by all the people who came to say goodbye and talk about his amazing creativity, the praying, his family talking about this kid they didn't seem to know, and watching his friends turn their faces when they talked about how loved he was by his family, and how much happier he'd be in heaven. fuck.
afterwards, at the wake in the strange sterile room at a leagues club. ellie told me dame had talked about me a lot, his "mental" friend, and how we understood each others sadness. she said I had to take better care of myself, and be responsible, now dame's gone.
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